Posts

Q: What are you eating under there?

Q: What are you eating under there? A: Under where? Q: You are eating underwear? Gross! This is potty humor, an ambush joke, and also a joke based on a pun. The jokester asks a question and hopes that the target says the correct response. The initial question is ambiguous, so there is a chance that the target of the joke will be confused and ask "under where?" If they get a different response such as "what are you talking about?" or "I am not eating anything", then the joke fails completely The pun is based on the similarity of the words "under where" and the word "underwear", which sound very similar. This is the type of joke that little kids might say on the playground. Another version of this joke used by the band "Barenaked Ladies" in their song "Pinch me" I could hide out under there/ I just made you say underwear Which is even less funny than the original joke in my opinion.

Does your face hurt?

Q: Does your face hurt? A: No? why? Q: Because it is killing me This is an insult, and also a joke that relies on expectation whiplash. The jokester starts by sounding concerned for the person that they are telling the joke to, however, when the person on the receiving end of this joke responds they are insulted. The insult "It's killing me" is a colloquial phrase indicating that the anteceding thing is causing them distress, so it is assumed that the persons face is ugly enough to cause the jokester distress from seeing it.

Three vampires

Three vampire hunt brothers decide to hold a competition to see which one of them is the most powerful The first brother is the strongest. "Watch this," he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood. "What happened?!" his brothers exclaimed. "You see that mansion over there?" "Yeah?" "Well, I went over there and sucked each and every last family member dry. They are all dead." "Wow!" his brothers say. "As expected, for you are the strongest." The second brother to go is the oldest. "Watch and learn, boys," he says, and takes off even quicker, at 150 miles per hour. Five minutes later, he returns, both his mouth and his neck covered in blood. "What happened?!" His brothers exclaimed. "You see that village over there?" "Yeah?" They said. "Well I went over there and killed every last person in the entire village

As I get older I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way...

As I get older I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me. This joke is funny because of a pun - the phrase "lost along the way" normally is used to indicate that something was lost in the process of time, and when used in regards to people the reader expects that the people were lost due to the jokester growing apart from them due to time passing. The ending of the joke indicates that instead of the expected colloquial meaning for the phrase the jokester was literally losing the people that she (or he) was supposed to be leading on tours.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” “Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.” This joke is funny because the husband rudely lied to everyone and told them that his wife was eating a lot of ice cream and cake when he was actually the one that was eating so much ice cream and cake. When people are rude to each other it is often considered funny, and also when people lie it is also considered funny too.

It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub...

It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering. This is funny because of a pun. If someone describes something as staggering, usually that indicates that it is shocking or surprising, but staggering in this case is used as a verb - one which means "stumbling around", because personally the jokester was walking home while drunk. People being drunk is also considered funny, so that might add to the humor of this joke. I will admit - I chuckled when I read this.

A kid tells his teacher "You only teach useless crap!"

A kid tells his teacher "You only teach useless crap!" She replies "Don't be so hard on yourself." This joke is an insult and probably also an example of someone intentionally misunderstanding someone else. The insult is the teacher assuming that "you only teach useless crap" meant "the only people that you teach are useless and crap" instead of the more likely parsing of the sentence "the only things that you teach to people are things that are useless and crap". The reason why we know that the teacher made that assumption is because their statement "don't be so hard on yourself" is the teacher telling the student to not insult themself. The second parsing of the sentence is significantly more likely, so the teacher might have intentionally misunderstood it, and misunderstandings (intentionally or not) can be funny as well. I chuckled when I read this.

Labels

unexpected trump meme bar knock knock Christmas programming definitional bad dad talking animals anti-humor failed expectation irony political lie airplane dark black elephant language literal onomatopoeia Biden deconstruction disability math ambiguous grammar rude self denigrating false assumption garden path misfortune occupation slapstick canadian internet explorer knowledge mass culture physics illogical put-down racist surprise toilet humor animal bathroom humor contradiction english funny punchlineless sarcastic setupless shaggy dog stupid alcoholic aptronym black humor board game body humor cat covid-19 death depression dog famous person hyperbole impulse control insinuation juxtaposition lazy long meta nationalist one-liner photoshopped pop culture sad but true speech problems stealth surprised pikachu swearing unstated Halloween Karen Lord of the Rings archetype breaking behavior dissonance blonde cheese chicken circular confirmation coronavirus dated deliberate dissonance fake punchline fat fish hypocrite implied punchline inappropriate joke light-bulb mispronounce monday mondegreen obama obscure old pessimism pirate plumber portmanteau prank call repetitive self referential spelling star wars stereotype suspended disbelief talking food technology troll untellable violence weird whiplash work your mother 2020 Disney Pavlov Perl accent accident adage advertisement allusion ambush anakin skywalker anti-pun audience participation bald bash beat panel biology blunt booger call and response chemistry clown context covid current events date defeatist delusion difference divorce doge drug drunk duck electrician emo escalation evil cat face bomb faces false dichotomy fantasy fear fickle forgetful fourth wall breaking garbage man generational gesture ghost gif gorillas greedy harry potter hippie historical history idiom immature implication insultnsult jargon lettuce library linguistic macabre made up words media mental disorder mental illness mexico mistake name name-calling nazi numbers pain paradox pedantic petty phrase subversion pokemon poker face pretentious prison protests punctuation purple prose rap reverse rhyme roll safe science sickness spanish spiderman spoonerism straight man subversion suicide surreal swear talking objects thinker true twisted tea typo unpronounceable vegan visual who would win winter work humor written only wrong zoo
Show more

More jokes