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Showing posts from August, 2017

What red and bad for your teeth?

Q: What red and bad for your teeth? A: A brick.

Two whales are in a bar...

Two whales are in a bar. One turns to the other and says "OOOOAAAAHHHHOOOOHHHAAOO" The other whale turns to him and says, "Go home Steve, you're drunk"

Why did the Indian sleep in the hotel lobby?

Q: Why did the Indian sleep in the hotel lobby? A: Because he didn't have a reservation

Don't use a big word...

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Q: How does the man in the moon cut his hair? A: Eclipse it.

We use docker

A: We use docker B: Oh cool, why? what is it? A: No-one knows, but we all use it

What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HHAAAAANNNNDDDDDDDD EEEEYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Guess what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket?

Q: Guess what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket? A: "I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Two scientists walk into a bar.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one says "I'll have some H2O too." The bartender gives them both water as serving hydrogen peroxide at a bar would be both illogical and dangerous.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high...

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

I have the heart of a lion...

I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.

I have an EpiPen...

I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

Legalize Arowana

Legalize Arowana

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