Showing posts from 2020

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force...

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. "In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, " he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared. (At this point, several of the children giggle.) I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me." At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company" "That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts." This joke is a joke about airplanes, so you could say that it is an airplane joke. In this joke the WW2 pilot is

Of course it's Monday

This is a Monday meme. The joke here is that the cat looks shaggy, and disheveled and explains that the reason for its appearance is because it is Monday. People like to make fun of Monday because it is the first work day of the week, and they prefer the weekend to week days. Honestly, this isn't that funny to me.

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear...

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, “What the hell are you doing?” This is a joke about acting weird, and about a false assumption on the part of the listener. When the listener hears the setup they will assume that the jokester is going to say something like "you can hear their heart beating", or "you can hear their bones creaking", or some other natural phenomena that you might be able to hear with your ear on someone. The reason why you instead would hear them asking what you are doing is because sticking your ear on someone is a super weird thing to do, and it would almost certainly elicit comment on the part of the recipient. If you want to tell this joke and get the maximum amount of laughs, I would guess that adding a pause in between the words "hear" and "them" would give the listeners time enough to parse the setup and guess where the joke is going.

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe, but if you remove it...

Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe, but if you remove it, you get gravy. This is a linguistic pun. The joke is that "if you remove it" could mean "if you remove gravity" in this sentence, but it could also mean "if you remove the letters I and T". Removing the I and T from gravity would leave you with the letters of the word Gravy, so the punch line is reasonable, however this joke is funny because the listener would normally assume that "it" refers to gravity, not to the letter I and T. 

Together, I can...

Together, I can beat schizophrenia. This is a joke about mental illness. When schizophrenia is represented in popular media, they treat it as a illness which causes people to have multiple personalities. Ordinarily someone would say "Together, we can beat X " to indicate that the problem X  is not insurmountable if the power of multiple people are used in attempting to defeat it. Since you can't be together by yourself, the joke indicates that the jokester is delusional, and believes that he is in fact multiple people.

I don’t like people who take drugs...

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security. This is a joke that is centered around the ambiguity of human language (a pun). The joke is that the person who hears the joke first assumes that the jokester dislikes people that use drugs, however the example makes it clear that the jokester actually dislikes people that confiscate drugs. Since take is a fairly general purpose verb in English, both understandings of the sentence are perfectly reasonable. 

The thief who stole my iPhone...

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time. This is a pun. For someone to "face time" means that they are in jeopardy of going to jail, however facetime is a phone app that is available on iphones. If you stole an Iphone it is possible that you could go to jail for it, but it is also possible that you could use the app face time (if you unlocked the phone successfully)

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making...

 My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making and now, I can’t read anything. This is a joke about a misunderstanding, and also about stupidity and misfortune. The misunderstanding is that the person telling the joke apparently misunderstood their wife, who was obviously asking for them to add the word ketchup to the list (by writing it at the bottom of the list), not to smear ketchup all over the list. Obviously the person that did this would necessarily be stupid, and the misfortune comes in to play because the person's stupidity caused the person to ruin the list that they were making.

I went to the doctor because I can't stop saying airplane jokes...

I went to the doctor because I can't stop saying airplane jokes He said it was terminal This is an airplane joke. It might also be a pun, but if it is, it is probably the worst pun ever. The humor is centered around the word terminal. Terminal means both "a disease that will cause death", and "the end of a transportation route" (such as the place an airplane lands). Now in this sentence, the first sense of the word makes sense, but the second sense makes no sense at all. The pun is particularly poor and the second sentence is senseless since the second sense of the word doesn't make sense. That being said, that doesn't really ruin the joke - it is still pretty funny because bad puns can still be funny.

If there's one thing that makes me throw up...

If there's one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dart board on a ceiling. This is a pun. The pun is centered around the words "throw up". Throw up usually means vomit, or chunder, however in this instance it means throw darts straight upward into the air. The listener assumes the normal definition of throw up when they hear the set up of the joke, but the end of the makes it more likely it is the alternate definition, and that confusion that it causes is funny.

“DO NOT TOUCH” must be one of the most terrifying things...

“DO NOT TOUCH” must be one of the most terrifying things to read in braille. This is an absurd joke. People that read braille do so by rubbing their fingers along bumps that represent letters. If one were to read something in braille, then, that person has already touched the object that the words are on. That means that they already broke the instructions they are reading. Why would this be terrifying? That is where the humor comes in. That wouldn't be terrifying. You already touched the thing, and if it was going to do anything to you because of it then it already happened to you before you finished reading the words.

I can't believe no one has managed to come up with a cure for anorexia yet...

I can't believe no one has managed to come up with a cure for anorexia yet, honestly, I thought it'd be a piece of cake. This is a pun. The humor of the joke is centered around the phrase "piece of cake". Literally piece of cake means a piece of cake, but figuratively it means "something that is very easy". To cure anorexia is not that easy because it is mental, and not physical, and we are not good at helping mental issues. So eating cake to cure anorexia is probably possible, though I doubt that it would be effective in most cases. So, not only is there a pun here, but both senses of the pun are absurd, which makes this pretty funny. That is - of course - if you are ok making fun of people that have an illness. 

Coughing has finally...

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport. This is a "oneliner" joke that deals with the current Covid 19 pandemic. The joke states that it used to be considered to be the most taboo thing possible to speak Arabic in an airport, but now it reports that coughing is more taboo. The reason why speaking Arabic is considered taboo is that the joke assumes that people in airports have anti-Arab feelings due to the possibility of Arab speaking people performing terrorist attacks against the airport. I am not going to discuss weather this is a valid fear, I am just saying that that is the reason why the joke assumes that speaking Arab is a taboo thing to do in an airport. On the other hand, people that cough might have Covid 19, so if you were to cough in an airport people would be scared that you are going to pass on Covid to them. The joke basically says that people are now more scared of catching covid than they are scared of terror

Yeah, I'm a libra...

  Here is an old meme. It is a poker face meme, which is generally a meme where someone tries not to reveal information about something by making a neutral facial expression. They tend to use the image in the lower right quadrant as part of them. The male person here was caught in a lie, and in the last panel he is trying to not look surprised because his birthday is either not in the range of a birthday that would make him a libra, or (perhaps more likely) he has no idea what birthday he could say to make him a libra. People being caught in a lie are funny, and that is why this is funny.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint?

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.  This is a riddle. The joke here is anti-humor. Red paint is actually something that is red and smells like blue paint. The joke is that the listener would assume that the answer had to be more obscure than that.

With Christmas around the corner...

With Christmas around the corner, now is a good time to tell the kids Santa died from Covid. This is dark humor. It is funny because the unexpected turn from talking about Christmas (which is a fun, happy, kid friendly subject) to death (which is the opposite). The unexpectedness of this emotional whiplash is why this is funny. 

I could tell you a joke about TCP/IP...

 I could tell you a joke about TCP/IP, but I would have to repeat myself until you got it. This is a joke that requires the listener to understand how the TCP/IP protocol works in order for it to be funny. It is also an insult. The reason why this is funny is because one thing that TCP/IP guarantees is that the data being transmitted will be delivered successfully even if the network makes no such guarantee. The way that they can guarantee this is by making the sender of a message retry sending it until the listener has acknowledged that they got the message successfully. The reason why this is an insult is that the jokester is insinuating that the listener wouldn't understand the joke, and so would have to repeat himself. This is insulting the listener's intelligence, and thus is funny.

What do you call a fake noodle?

Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An impasta This joke is both a riddle and a pun. Impostor means someone that is masquerading as something they are not, but pasta means noodles. Impasta sounds a lot like impostor, so the pun works fairly well.

What do we want? More questions!

What do we want? More questions! When do we want them? Thanks! This joke circumvents a common call and response chant - "What do we want? /  X! /  When do we want it? / Now!" where X is whatever the person is unhappy at not having. The caller (person that started the chant) did so normally, but the responder doesn't say "Now!" at the end, but instead "Thanks!". The reason for this is that the caller asked another question, thus meeting the requirements that the responder set up. The listener to this joke would find it funny because they expected the statement to end in "Now!", and it didn't.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday...

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. The humor here comes from the fact that a person with a good thesaurus would be able to come up with an alternate word that means the same thing as terrible, but with a terrible thesaurus, the jokester is unable to. It is a form of irony that a person just bought a tool that was supposed to help them not use the same word over again, and instead they ended up doing exactly what they were trying to avoid.

A case to store your underwear in...

A case to store your underwear in is a briefcase. This joke is a pun. One type of underwear is "briefs", and so a case to store briefs could potentially be called a briefcase. The problem with this is that there is already a object called a briefcase, and that object is used to store briefs (which are documents). Since the word is being redefined to a previously unknown (and confusing) definition, it is funny.

Piano is one of the hardest instruments...

Piano is one of the hardest instruments to pick up. This is a pun. Colloquially to "pick up" a skill is to learn it, however literally to pick up something means to take it into your hand and raise it up from where it was sitting. Pianos, being large, are probably the hardest musical instrument to lift up off of the ground, however it may or may not be true that it is hard to learn how to play it. This joke could be pretty stealthy if you delivered it right.

I used to be scared of speed bumps...

I used to be scared of speed bumps but I’m slowly getting over them This joke is a pun - to "get over" something is to accept something that is unpleasant as being inevitable, however if you were to travel over speed bumps in a car, it is considered a good practice to travel slowly as you go over them in order to not damage your car. This pun uses both senses of the phrase.

How DARE you...

How DARE you accuse me of righteous indignation!?!? This is a setupless joke which employs irony as its funny element. The jokester is asking how the listener would accuse them of being righteously indignant, however they are doing it in a way that confirms the fact that they are righteously indignant.

My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”

My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?” I said, “Where did that come from?” The humor in this joke comes from the pun that occurs during the husbands response. He asked her "where did that come from", which colloquially means "The thing that you just said or did was a non-sequitur", but it could also mean "I do not know where that [thing] was before it arrived here". Not knowing where something came from could be a sign of having a poor sense of direction, so he is confirming his wife's statement with his response.

Q: How often do airplanes crash?

Q: How often do airplanes crash? A: Just once. The humor in this airplane joke comes from the fact that the listener assumes that the jokester is asking "how many airplanes crash per day/year?", when in fact they are asking "how often does any given airplane crash?" The question that they asked is not actually parseable in the way that the jokester wants it to be, so the humor requires the listener to accept that the setup is pretty weak for this to be funny. Honestly this ruins the joke for me.

Q: Where are the Great Plains located?

Q: Where are the Great Plains located? A: At the great airports! This is a pun - the word plains sounds like planes, and the great plains are a large region in the middle of the united states, however the answer is not where those are located, but instead where the "great planes" are located, which is apparently the great airports. There is a bit of absurdist logic to this - mediocre planes would be located in mediocre airports, and absolutely awful planes would be located is the worst type of airports. Despite this joke being pretty bad, I sort of like it.

I told the check-in assistant at the airport to send my bags to New York, while I flew to London...

 I told the check-in assistant at the airport to send my bags to New York, while I flew to London. She said she couldn't do that. I replied, ''why not? You did last week!'' This airplane joke is funny because it involves misfortune, and also a misunderstanding. The idea that the jokester had his bags delivered to the wrong airport makes everyone listening to the joke feel sorry for the jokester, which is funny. The misunderstanding that the jokester is laboring under is that the airport could do that intentionally, and that it would be possible to order that it happens. The fact that he misunderstands this is funny. It is also possible that his last statement is an insult - calling the assistant a liar, which would make it funny because it is rude as well.

I designed a crash proof airplane made out of rubber...

I designed a crash proof airplane made out of rubber. It's called the Boing 747. Here is another airplane joke. The joke here is also a pun centered around the word boing. A rubber airplane would probably bounce, and the word boing is an onomatopoeia for the sound that is made when something bounces. The word boing also sounds a lot like Boeing, which is a manufacturer of airplanes.

I’d tell you an airplane joke...

I’d tell you an airplane joke. But it’d go over your head. This is an insult, and also a pun. To go over someone's head is a colloquialism that means to be too difficult for someone to understand, so this is saying that you are too dumb to understand the airplane joke that the jokester is about to make. If you were to take the joke literally, then "to go over someone's head" could mean that this airplane joke (because it is an airplane) would travel in a path that was above the listeners head.


You might think this joke sucks, but the title says otherwise I found this joke posted in reddit. The humor in this joke is a pun. The title of the post was the word "Otherwise", so literally the title of the joke undeniably said "Otherwise". That being said, " x  says otherwise" means that if you were to ask x , they would tell you something besides what has been said before, so saying the title says otherwise is like saying that the title is a counterargument to the statement that this joke sucks. The two meanings of the joke are why this is funny.

You know there's no official training for garbagemen?

You know there's no official training for garbagemen? They just pick things up as they go along. This joke is a pun. To pick things up can both be taken literally and figuratively. The literal sense is that the garbage men lift things off of the ground (in order to put them into the garbage truck). The figurative sense for that statement is using the "learn things" sense of "pick things up", and that jives with the "they don't get training" statement in the setup of the joke.

Your sad alcoholic name

 Here is another alcoholic meme. The joke in this one is an insult. To explain this, I will first explain the "your X name" meme. There is a type of internet post where people try to mine info from other people by posting rules for generating names. It usually goes something like this: "Generate your punk rockstar name: your mother's maiden name + the street you grew up on", and then they just gather info based on the responses. This one acts like one of those posts, but instead just ends up with the reader's real name. So, the jokester is calling the listener a sad alcoholic. I found this one by scrolling through alcoholic memes till I found one that was actually funny to me. Most of them are just depressing to me, but this one was clever - using the "your X name" meme to insult someone is pretty funny.

Toby, Age 3 Alcoholic

 This is a bit hard to explain, But I will give it a try. The joke here seems to be that everyone around you assumes that you are drinking an alcoholic beverage if you drink it out of a wine glass? This is only one of many "Toby, Age 3 Alcoholic" memes. Honestly, this is not the funniest of the lot. Here is a better one: The joke here is that the kid - since he could no longer get amusement from popping bubbles in bubble wrap turned to alcohol to get amusement instead. This is pretty dark humor, honestly. Here is another one: This one could have two possible reasons for being funny - one is that the kid was being assumed by his peers to be drunk (making a public mistake and being ridiculed for it is funny to many people), and the other option for this meme being funny is that because he was ridiculed, he turned to drugs to cope with it. Again, this is pretty dark humor, so it is probably not for everyone. I don't find these particularly funny, but I suppose that that coul

Three old men are sitting on a park bench. The first says "Windy, innit?"

Three old men are sitting on a park bench. The first says "Windy, innit?" The second says "No. Thursdy." The third says "Me too. Let's go for a pint." This joke is about a series of misunderstandings. The first one is when old man number 1 says "windy", and old man number 2 hears "Wednesday" instead. His reply contains the word "Thursday", which old man number 3 mishears as "thirsty". this joke would work with 2 old men if you wanted to reduce the cognitive load.

I just read a list of “100 Things To Do Before You Die”...

I just read a list of “100 Things To Do Before You Die”... I was quite surprised that “Yell for help” wasn’t one of them. The humor in this joke comes from the fact that the jokester misunderstood the meaning of the article that they read - the article was intended to list things that one would want to make sure to do during their life, and the jokester assumed that it was a list of things that the reader would want to do in case they were going to die (in order to attempt to prevent it).

If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States...

If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States This is not a political post, I just want to travel The joke here is that the listener will assume after hearing the first two lines that the jokester likes neither Trump nor Biden so much that they would leave the country because one of them were to become elected. The punchline reveals that this assumption is false by declaring that the jokester just really likes to travel. This joke isn't political, however it masquerades as a political joke. As strange side note - the person that wrote this joke didn't capitalize the T in Trump - perhaps that was on purpose?

A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins...

 A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins. After much consideration they decide that the best thing for the baby boys would be to give them up for adoption so that they can have a better shot in life. One boy goes to a Spanish family who name him Juan, the second goes to an Indian family who name him Amal. 18 years pass when the birth parents receive a package from Juan with a letter saying how grateful he is to them and with a ton of pictures of him and his life. This makes the birth mother inconsolably sad, her husband says “are you not happy? You always wondered what he looked like, whether he had my eyes or your nose and now you know” “I know and I’m really happy that I got to see the pictures but it makes me even sadder that I have no pictures of Amal.” To which the husband replies “they’re identical twins, if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal!” This is a bit of a shaggy dog story (although, it could be much longer if the teller cares to tell it that way.) The super

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters? He cleaned out every crook and nanny. This is a spoonerism, and also a pun. Normally to "Clean out every nook and cranny" means to clean something entirely, or completely, however in this case "Crook" means a criminal, and "Nanny" means a person that takes care of children, and cleaning out in this instance it is being used to mean "stole everything from", so the second statement sounds like a common phrase with only two letters reversed, but it has a completely different meaning than the normal phrase.

Cop 1: This murder seems racially motivated...

Cop 1: This murder seems racially motivated. Cop 2: Hate crime? Cop 1: Of course I hate crime. That’s why I’m a cop. This joke is a misunderstanding - Cop 2 asked "[do you think it was a] hate crime?", and Cop 1 heard "[Do you] hate crime?" that misunderstanding is the source of the humor in this joke.

If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up...

If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox. This joke is based around a pop culture reference, and also a meme culture reference. To understand the paradox requires the listener to know the lyrics to the song "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. The lyrics state that Rick is "Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down, etc." In the first part of the song the jokester assumes that Rick was talking about a DVD of the movie Up when he said NGGYU. This is incorrect - the false assumption is based on a pretty awful pun, however it is also a moderately funny pun. The second part says that he would let you down, which he explicitly denied that he would do in the lyrics to the song, so he is breaking his word. To call that a paradox is silly because the lyrics to the song were not sup

An airplane was about to crash...

 An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, 'I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, 'I am the president of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die.' He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane. The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, 'My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.' The little boy said, 'That's okay, Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest President took my schoolbag. This is another airplane joke. It is also a Trump joke as well. The humor in the joke lie

Q: Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?

Q: Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing? A: I just cant see them taking off. This is a very stealthy airplane joke - the setup doesn't even sound like a joke at all. It is a pun, and probably also a dad joke. The pun relies on the words "taking off", which can mean (when referring to an airplane) to get into the air, but when referring to an idea, it could also mean to become popular (or to go viral). Airplane jokes are not really my favorite thing ever, but as far as they go, this isn't that bad.

Q: What do you call a Sith Lord with joint pain?

Q: What do you call a Sith Lord with joint pain? A: Darth Ritis This is a traditional Q and A style riddle, and the answer to the riddle is a pun. The humor in the pun is due to the fact that all sith lords have "Darth x " as their name, where x is any random word or collection of syllables, for instance: sidious, vader, maul, tyrannous, etc. So, Darth Ritis could totally be a sith lord name. On the other side of the pun, arthritis is a medical condition which causes joint pain, and so the name could also be "d Arthritis" at the same time. This isn't that good a joke, but it did cause me to slightly smile when I read it.

A monocle walks into a bar...

 A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke." So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!" This is a moderately long joke, but the punchline is pretty good, so I doubt that it would be considered a shaggy-dog story. The humor in this joke is centered around a pun. To make a spectacle of ones self is defined as "to do something in front


 Iamonthemoonandthereisnowheretogetabeer. Thereisnospacebar. This is a joke that only works in textual form. If you were to say it out loud I suspect that it would not even be comprehensible. The joke is a pun. The jokester is pretending that he has no spacebar on his keyboard, and therefore cannot type spaces in his text. At the same time he is also saying that there is not a bar in outer space, or a space-bar, to put it more succinctly. I like puns generally, and so I like this a bit, but I have certainly seen better puns than this one as well.

First day as a vet...

First day as a vet Me: What seems to be the problem Cat: Meow Me: Yes, but where?  The humor in this joke stems from a false understanding that the listener forms. First, they expect that the jokester cannot understand cats when they speak, so when the joke arrives at the punchline, with the jokester apparently understanding the cat's language, the listener realizes that they were wrong and has to reevaluate their former understanding of the situation. I haven't heard this one before right now, and I would have to say that this joke was ok, but nothing to write home about.

Apparently my family is racist...

Apparently my family is racist. I had them meet my new black girlfriend and they all got mad and started screaming at us... Especially my wife. The humor in this statement is that the jokester misunderstood why his family was getting mad at him. The real reason why they were getting mad was that the jokester was married, and shouldn't have had a girlfriend - not because his girlfriend was black. I found this joke moderately funny.

Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go?

Q: Where should a 500 pound alien go? A: On a diet This is a traditional Q and A style riddle. The listener was expecting a location to be the answer to the riddle, but the real answer was "on a diet". To "go on a diet" is to not eat certain things usually for the purpose of losing weight. If 300lbs was an unusually high weight for an alien, then that might be good advice - even if a diet is not a location. So, this joke is funny because the answer is wrong in a surprising way.

Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed?

Did you hear about that group where only Trump supporters are allowed? Everyone else is forbiden This is a political joke, and also a pun. The humor in this joke requires the reader to recognize that forbiden is a misspelling of forbidden, and to also realize that it is also a misspelling of "for Biden" as in "In support of Biden". Obviously this is in regards to the 2020 USA presidential election that is taking place right now. This joke also assumes that if you are not a Trump supporter right now you are in support of Biden (because he is the other person that has a good chance of winning the election.) This joke wasn't that bad.

I overheard my neighbor say she had an awful day, so I anonymously sent her a meat lover’s pizza...

 I overheard my neighbor say she had an awful day, so I anonymously sent her a meat lover’s pizza. She’s a vegan and I hate her guts. This is an example of a joke with an unexpected ending. It makes you think that the jokester is doing something nice, when in fact the jokester is actually doing something mean. It plays on the false assumption that the reader has that the neighbor would like to receive an anonymous meat lover pizza (as most humans probably would). The actions on the part of the jokester in the joke are rude because to send a vegan a meat-lovers anything would be rude as they don't eat meat. This joke isn't very funny.

Oops! All Moisture packets

There is a cereal called Captain Crunch, which has (in one of its versions) "crunch berries", which are a a rare variation of the normal sugar cereal that the rest of Captain Crunch is composed of. At some point in time the company started making an "Oops all berries" version of the cereal, which had only crunch berries, and none of the normal cereal. This meme is a photoshop of a package of an "Oops all moisture packets" version of Jack Links meat snacks (which is a brand of beef jerky). The moisture packets in a packet of beef jerky are only there to keep the food good. They are not for eating, however there are usually far fewer moisture packets in a bag of these food than there are pieces of beef jerky, so if you were to apply the same "take something that is rare and make it the only thing" to beef jerky, then it would make everything in the bag into moisture packets. To call this the "oops all" version of Jack Links has some sort

Why are all the humans wearing muzzles?

 This is an example of a covid meme. The joke here is that the dog doesn't understand the purpose of the masks that people are wearing now.

Happy Monday

  This is a Monday meme. It is also a star-wars meme. The joke here is that the memester is insinuating that Mondays cannot be happy. It seems popular right now to indicate that you don't like Mondays. I am not honestly sure that I agree with the sentiment, however it is what it is.

I bought my friend an elephant for his room...

I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks". I said, "Don't mention it". I posted this before, but since someone said that they didn't get my explanation, I thought that I would post about it again. To say "don't mention it" is a way of saying "your welcome" to someone which downplays the importance of the thing that you are being thanked for. An "elephant in the room" is a phrase meaning something that you don't talk about even if it is obvious. Since the critical thing about an elephant in a room is that you don't mention them, it is humorous that the elephant that the jokester bought his friend is not just an elephant for his room, but also a figurative "elephant in the room" because it is a pretty obvious thing, and the jokester doesn't want to talk about it.

Why does Yoda take pills?

Q: Why does Yoda take pills? A: BECAUSE HE'S OLD!!

Why does a bike rest on its leg?

Q: Why does a bike rest on its leg? A: Because it is too tired.

What rank does Corn have in the Vegetable Army?

What rank does Corn have in the Vegetable Army? Colonel!

What looks like half an apple?

Q: What looks like half an apple? A: The other half.

Why do you go to bed every night?

Q: Why do you go to bed every night? A: Because the bed won't come to you!

I will provide fresh leadership....




Bomb has been planted!


Alright spiderman...


I don't get it...


Saw a book on how to resolve 50% of your problems


They can't cast mail in ballots if they are dead


I need to speak to the manager of twitter


Space Isis


I punched my music teacher in the face...


They don't write good


There is nobody bigger or better at the military than I am


the Ultimate High Ground


This dude really does love walls


I Said a Space Force


Who paid for you?




Cut the Malarkey!


What does the president do?


Minas Tirith


Oh No! our neighbor died!


There is a light at the end of the tunnel


Order 66


Thick Bottom Border


I'mma give him a note 7


When all you do on reddit is upvote.


Me: *born*




You know what's adorable


Sam when he holds the Ring for 5 seconds


Well, first of all, I'm vegan


You don't have to understand memes...


I'm with Stupid


When you see a post...


I'm going to ask Donald if he wants something to eat...


What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?

Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? A: Hi Cliff!

Cats and dogs are natural enemies

Cats and dogs are natural enemies, just like electricians and plumbers, electricians and engineers, and electricians and electricians.

What makes a plumber smile anytime of day?

Q: What makes a plumber smile anytime of day? A: Overtime pay.

Guys, I just heard that the coronavirus...


Why can't you give me NICE questions?


Nyan Cat




Landlords counting their money


When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up



bar misunderstanding unexpected knock knock Christmas programming definitional bad dad anti-humor talking animals failed expectation political irony black elephant language onomatopoeia Biden deconstruction disability literal math airplane ambiguous grammar lie dark false assumption garden path occupation rude self denigrating canadian internet explorer knowledge mass culture physics slapstick illogical misfortune put-down racist surprise animal bathroom humor contradiction english funny setupless shaggy dog stupid toilet humor alcoholic aptronym black humor board game body humor cat depression dog famous person impulse control insinuation juxtaposition meta nationalist pop culture punchlineless speech problems surprised pikachu Halloween Karen Lord of the Rings archetype breaking behavior dissonance blonde cheese chicken circular confirmation coronavirus covid-19 death deliberate dissonance fake punchline fish hyperbole hypocrite implied punchline inappropriate joke lazy light-bulb mispronounce monday obama obscure old pessimism photoshopped pirate plumber portmanteau repetitive sad but true sarcastic self referential spelling star wars stealth stereotype suspended disbelief talking food technology troll untellable violence weird whiplash work your mother Disney Pavlov Perl accent accident adage advertisement allusion anakin skywalker anti-pun audience participation bald bash biology booger call and response chemistry clown context covid current events date dated delusion difference doge drug duck electrician emo evil cat face bomb faces false dichotomy fantasy fat fear fickle forgetful fourth wall breaking garbage man generational gesture gif gorillas greedy harry potter hippie historical history idiom immature insultnsult jargon lettuce library linguistic long macabre made up words media mental illness mexico mistake mondegreen name-calling nazi numbers one-liner paradox pedantic pokemon poker face prank call pretentious prison protests punctuation purple prose rap reverse roll safe science sickness spiderman spoonerism straight man subversion suicide surreal swear swearing talking objects thinker true typo unpronounceable unstated vegan visual winter work humor written only wrong zoo
Show more

More jokes