Posts

Showing posts from September, 2019

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...

When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

To the guy who invented zero

To the guy who invented zero... thanks for nothing.

Translation

I personally am characterized by a Predilection for fundaments of a suprilitive nature. Additionally I am entirely incapable of prevarication. I now address myself to more of my fraternal associates - It is entirely impossible for you to disagree with the following logical argument:  * If there exists a universe such that there is an adolescent muliebrous anthropomorphic entity which is ambulating in a manner that is both adjacent and tangent to your (the viewer's) position which posesses the following qualities:    * A marked and particularly diminuitive midsection and    * An element that is both: * curvilinear and * to the fore of the obverse of your capitular extremity   The outcome will invariably be an initiation and engenderment of a transitory preoccupation with and obsession over the aforementioned muliebrous anthropomorphic entity.

Labels

misunderstanding unexpected bar knock knock Christmas programming definitional bad dad talking animals anti-humor failed expectation irony political airplane dark lie black elephant language onomatopoeia Biden deconstruction disability literal math ambiguous grammar self denigrating false assumption garden path misfortune occupation rude canadian internet explorer knowledge mass culture physics slapstick illogical put-down racist surprise animal bathroom humor contradiction english funny punchlineless sarcastic setupless shaggy dog stupid toilet humor alcoholic aptronym black humor board game body humor cat covid-19 death depression dog famous person hyperbole impulse control insinuation juxtaposition lazy meta nationalist one-liner photoshopped pop culture sad but true speech problems stealth surprised pikachu unstated Halloween Karen Lord of the Rings archetype breaking behavior dissonance blonde cheese chicken circular confirmation coronavirus dated deliberate dissonance fake punchline fat fish hypocrite implied punchline inappropriate joke light-bulb long mispronounce monday obama obscure old pessimism pirate plumber portmanteau prank call repetitive self referential spelling star wars stereotype suspended disbelief swearing talking food technology troll untellable violence weird whiplash work your mother 2020 Disney Pavlov Perl accent accident adage advertisement allusion anakin skywalker anti-pun audience participation bald bash beat panel biology blunt booger call and response chemistry clown context covid current events date defeatist delusion difference divorce doge drug duck electrician emo escalation evil cat face bomb faces false dichotomy fantasy fear fickle forgetful fourth wall breaking garbage man generational gesture ghost gif gorillas greedy harry potter hippie historical history idiom immature implication insultnsult jargon lettuce library linguistic macabre made up words media mental disorder mental illness mexico mistake mondegreen name name-calling nazi numbers pain paradox pedantic petty phrase subversion pokemon poker face pretentious prison protests punctuation purple prose rap reverse rhyme roll safe science sickness spanish spiderman spoonerism straight man subversion suicide surreal swear talking objects thinker true twisted tea typo unpronounceable vegan visual who would win winter work humor written only wrong zoo
Show more

More jokes