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Showing posts from July, 2017

What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister?

Q: What time was it when the monster ate the Canadian prime minister? A: Eight P.M.

What's the difference between an American and a Canadian?

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Canadian? A: A Canadian not only has a sense of humour but can also spell it.

What do Canadians get on their tests?

Q: What do Canadians get on their tests? A: Eh’s

How do you get two whales in a car?

Q: How do you get two whales in a car? A: Start in England and drive west.

I have a chicken proof lawn.

I have a chicken proof lawn. Its impeccable.

Why were the cows disappointed in their number collection?

Q: Why were the cows disappointed in their number collection? A: Because they lactate.

Today I happened to be in the area where I grew up...

Today I happened to be in the area where I grew up so I went and checked out my old childhood home. I knocked and asked if I could look around a bit, but the owners said no and shut the door in my face. My parents can be so rude sometimes.

A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.

A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up. But a dino might.

How did the hipster burn his tongue?

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Hey, a train just went by!

D: Hey, a train just went by! C: How do you know daddy? D: Because its tracks are still here!

What are the 2 seasons in Canada?

Q: What are the 2 seasons in Canada? A: Winter and July

How do you get a Canadian to apologize?

Q: How do you get a Canadian to apologize? A: Step on their foot. 

How do you get 100 drunk and rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

How do you get 100 drunk and rowdy Canadians out of a pool? You say "Please get out of the pool."

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