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Showing posts from October, 2017

What do you do when you see a space man?

Q: What do you do when you see a space man?
A: You park your car, man

What's the difference between a...

What's the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.

What does E.T. stand for?

Q: What does E.T. stand for?
A: The national anthem.

Why don't ants ever get sick?

Q: Why don't ants ever get sick?
A: Because they have little anty bodies

You know how birds fly in a V and sometimes one side is longer than the other?

Q: You know how birds fly in a V and sometimes one side is longer than the other? You know why that is?

A: It's because there are more birds on that side.

A man asks a farmer near a field,

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Mathematics is 90% common sense

Mathematics is 90% common sense, and the other half is attention to detail.

Someone call me a cab

Q: Someone call me a cab.
A: Your a cab.

This Fibonacci joke is...

This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two that you heard combined.

The past present, and future walk into a bar.

The past present, and future walk into a bar.
It was tense.

You can't hang a man with a wooden leg

You can't hang a man with a wooden leg,
You need a rope.

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail...

There were 3 blondes walking on a trail...
The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"
The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "
The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"
Then a train hit them

I have a pet tree

I have a pet tree...
It's like having a pet dog but the bark is much quieter.