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Showing posts from February, 2019

Three men are sent to hell...

Three men are sent to hell... The devil greets them and gives the three men a chance to go to heaven instead. Knowing no-one has ever won the bet, he tells the three men, "if you can bring me something which I cannot melt with my bare hands of flame and torture, you are free to go to heaven."

A few hours later, the first man arrives with a sturdy rock. The devil smiles slyly, grabs the rock in his hands, and melts it into molten magma.

The second man appears with a large chunk or carbonized steel. The devil grabs it and instantly melts it down into hot liquid metal.

The third man only gives him three M&M candies. The devil laughs, grabs the candy and turns his hands into flames. Hotter and hotter the hands grow, but the devil notices that he just can't melt down the M 'n M's. He gives up, shocked, and says, "How in the hell! This has never happened before."

To which the third man replied "M&M's, melt in your mouth, not your hands."…

When a deaf person sees someone yawn...

When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?

Doge

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People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks...

People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.

3725.95 mph slap

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My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."

My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."
"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance...

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

...a ground-breaking invention.

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

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