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Showing posts from August, 2017

What red and bad for your teeth?

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Q: What red and bad for your teeth? A: A brick.
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Two whales are in a bar...

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Two whales are in a bar. One turns to the other and says "OOOOAAAAHHHHOOOOHHHAAOO" The other whale turns to him and says, "Go home Steve, you're drunk"
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Why did the Indian sleep in the hotel lobby?

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Q: Why did the Indian sleep in the hotel lobby? A: Because he didn't have a reservation
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Don't use a big word...

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Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice
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How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

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Q: How does the man in the moon cut his hair? A: Eclipse it.
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We use docker

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A: We use docker B: Oh cool, why? what is it? A: No-one knows, but we all use it
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What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

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What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HHAAAAANNNNDDDDDDDD EEEEYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
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Guess what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket?

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Q: Guess what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket? A: "I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."
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Two scientists walk into a bar.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one says "I'll have some H2O too." The bartender gives them both water as serving hydrogen peroxide at a bar would be both illogical and dangerous.
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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high...

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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
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I have the heart of a lion...

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I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
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I have an EpiPen...

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I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
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Legalize Arowana

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Legalize Arowana
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