Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?" The man's answer: "They're Carol's."
A man bought his wife an expensive diamond ring for Christmas. His friend heard about it, and said "I thought she wanted a Jeep for Christmas." His reply was "Yes, but where am I gonna find a fake Jeep?"