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Showing posts from September, 2017

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left it.

This is my step ladder

"This is my step ladder... I never knew my real ladder."

I bought my friend an elephant for his room

I bought my friend an elephant for his room...
He said "Thanks!"
I said "Don't mention it."

What rhymes with orange

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange"
I said: "no it doesn't"

A horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Because I'm an alcoholic and it's killing my family."

chmod -R 007 /

chmod -R 007 /

A guy drags a chain into a bar

A guy drags a chain into a bar. The bartender asks
"why are you dragging that chain behind you?"
The man replies
"Man, you ever try pushing one of these?"

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrelephant

A computer scientist's wife asks him...

A computer scientist's wife asks him, "would you pick up a loaf of bread at the store, and if they have eggs get a dozen?"
He gets home, throws 12 loaves of bread on the counter, and says "they had eggs".

Why don't blind people skydive?

Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.
It was pretty bad at first, but, by the end, I liked it.

A Freudian slip is...

A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother

A blind man walks into a bar...

A blind man walks into a bar.
And a table.
And a chair.