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Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Doris!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doris!
Doris who?
Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Opportunity.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Butch, Jimmy and Joe.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe.
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?
Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and lets Joe.

Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Little old lady.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Tunis!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Tunis!
Tunis who?
Tunis company, three’s a crowd!

Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Cows go.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly, Cows go "moo!"

Knock knock / Who’s there? / Amish

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Amish
Amish Who?
Awwww How sweet. I miss you too.

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Ice cream !

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who ?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / A Pile-Up

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
A Pile-Up
A Pile-Up Who?
Ewwwwww

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Little old lady

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Little old lady
Little old lady who?
Wow I didn’t know you could yodel.

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Daisy

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Daisy
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'

After many years, a prisoner is finally released. He runs around yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"

After many years, a prisoner is finally released. He runs around yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!" A little kid walks up to him and says, "So what? I'm 4."

Waiter, why is a wasp on my chips?

Waiter, why is a wasp on my chips?
Because it died and I didn't know where to put it

Elsa: you can’t marry a man you just met

Elsa: you can’t marry a man you just met
Anna: ok boomer

Please sign my petition for the Oklahoma City Thunder to rename themselves...

Please sign my petition for the Oklahoma City Thunder to rename themselves the OK boomers

Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off. Who was left?

Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off. Who was left?

Brown Paper Pete

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," said the bartender.

Knock, knock. / Who's there? / Pizza.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Pizza really great guy!

Knock knock / Who’s there? / Yah!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.

Knock Knock \ Who’s there? \ Dumbbell.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dumbbell.
Dumbbell who?
Dumbbell doesn’t work so I had to knock!

Knock Knock \ Who’s there? \ Iran!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Iran!
Iran who?
Iran over here to tell you this!

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Alex!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alex!
Alex who?
Alex the questions round here!

Knock Knock \ Who’s there? \ Urine

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Urine
Urine Who?
URINEsecure don’t know what for

Knock Knock / Who’s There? / Ahmed

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Ahmed
Ahmed who?
Ahmed the payphone trying to call home. All of my change I spent on you.

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Orange

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you going to answer the door?

Knock knock / Who’s there? / Gorilla

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who
Gorilla me a hamburger

Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Dishes!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dishes!
Dishes who?
Dishes the Police come out with your hands up.

Knock knock \ Who’s there? \ Dwayne!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Dwayne!
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning.

Knock knock \ Who’s there? \ Moustache!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Moustache!
Moustache who?
I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

Knock knock \ Who’s there? \ Ach!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ach!
Ach who?
It sounds like your coming down with a cold

Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

Q: What is the major difference between a bird and a fly?

Q: What is the major difference between a bird and a fly?
A: A Bird can fly but a fly cannot bird!

Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oinkment.

This is a joke with an example of onomatopoeia in it, and the majority of the humor comes from that.

The jokester here replaces the word treatment with tweetment because a bird says tweet, and ointment is rendered oinkment through the same process.

There really is such a thing as bird flu and swine flu, however, the unlikeliness of two words being able to be formed that match the noises and are both related to medical interventions is also sort of impressive. I can only think of one other medical word that ends with "ment", and which also is medical, and that is liniment.


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